Learning to Love

I asked the missionaries today via texting "How can I receive revelation?"

The interesting part of that question, is that I know how. I honestly don't even know why I asked.
Especially in my life right now, is when I have been receiving the most revelation.

About a month ago, my plans quickly changed from moving to Mississippi for the summer, to instead living in Ellensburg, because of revelation from God. At that time, is when I also applied to central for summer classes, because of revelation from God. I broke up with my boyfriend, because of revelation from God. I talked with my Bishop, because of revelation from God. I, then, decided to start and finish my mission papers, because of revelation from God.

And now, I sit here today, and decide to ask the missionaries how I can receive revelation.

Honestly, I can't. No one can.
Except it be through the power of the Atoning one, Jesus Christ.

I thought to myself after the missionaries response.
I asked myself: Am I following God's commandments?...
YES, I am! Am I doing what I am supposed to?
YES! Am I following the promptings of the Lord?
 YES! Then I asked myself, why do I still feel this way.

I think sometimes we so often think of what we aren't doing wrong, 

rather than what we are doing right. 

And I wonder, am I really doing the right things? Following Christ isn't just about not breaking any rules. Following Christ is about loving yourself and others so much that your soul would never even dare think of breaking the rules.

Matthew 5:  28 states:

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" 

Although this speaks of adultery, this refers to all sin. If we think or desire to break a commandment, then we have, in essence, already broken it in our hearts. 

I think sometimes I get so wishful, and hopeful of my life, that I stop thinking of others. I want my plans, and my future, and I want to follow what God has for me. 

And the truth is, in order for me to figure out what God wants for me, and receive continuous revelation, I have to start thinking and hoping and wishing for the future of others. 

Dylan R Holden told me last night that

"Being an active participant in the work of salvation is the key to really being happy." 

We are instruments in the hands of God, and in order for us to truly be happy, we need to be serving and helping others, so that they may live a happier life, and become closer to the Savior.

If we learn to Love others first, we can get more of a sense for Christ's love 

and of God's plans for our lives. 

(My Sister, Abbie's Bridal shower for Abbie and Kevin Wedding Aug. 2014: Kiss with a sticker LOVE on it) 

A Heart to be touched, A Heart to be softened

I have become fascinated with the story of Lehi and Nephi in the wilderness. I met with the missionaries on Monday. I expressed my concerns with learning the stories of the Bible and the Book of Mormon and how in my mind, I know none.

They advised me to start from the beginning. Start at the beginning of the Book of Mormon, and read so that I don't get lost. They are also going to bring me a children's book on the scriptures so I can learn easier, and WITH PICTURES. I can't express how elated I am for this.

 

(The original copy of the Book of Mormon: sent as a graduation gift from CX Flynn (btw: THANKS)) 

Just a quick thought tonight. As I read about Lehi, and how he had the courage to pray to God and learn that God wanted him to leave Jerusalem and lead them to the promised land. I also read about Nephi.

And there is one verse that really caught my attention, and made me rethink the view on spirituality altogether.

For those of you that don't know, later on in the book of Mormon, Nephi becomes very popular in the sight of God. He goes through tortures and terrors in order to just follow God. His life is HARD, and he is probably one of the many people in the scriptures that is one of the closest to God and Jesus Christ.

That's why this scripture really caught my eye.
1 Nephi 2:16

"And it came to pass that I, Nephi, being exceedingly young, nevertheless being large in stature, and also having great desires to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers"

To me, it just baffles me, that a faithful, wonderful, man like Nephi would need to bow down before the Lord and have his heart be softened. So often I think that now that I'm in the church, my heart is soft, and I don't need it to be softened again. But then I realize, even the best of the best, need to bow down before the Lord and ask the Lord to soften their heart.

Lastly, it says, that after his heart is softened, he believed ALL the words which had been spoken by his father. This doesn't say, that he believed some of the words, or he selected the rules and beliefs he liked and not the others. It also doesn't say that he bended some of the words so that he could get out of the rules and bend and get as close to breaking the rules as much as he could.

It just stood out to me. Because Nephi believed all the words. And I think that applies to our lives. Especially as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we need to bow down before God and ask him to soften our heart. And when he does, we need to believe what we have learned and what the Prophets have said; not what our mortal minds desire.

It's time, for us to bow down today, and with whatever struggle we are going through, whatever rule we have trouble following; whether it is lying, or stealing, or gossip, or drinking, or smoking. Whatever it is. It's time to bow down before the Lord, and ask him to soften our hearts; so that when the hard times come, when we are tested and tried, we will have our answer, so we can know and have the strength to make the right choices when the temptations come.

These things I say in the Sacred Name of the Beloved Son, Jesus Christ

-Amen

Church in the 'Burg

A very fascinating testimony for a very drained Sunday of mine. Getting back from a long family reunion, and making it just on time for church, I literally sat and was on the verge of tears the whole while during church. But, THANKFULLY, I made some friends. Mostly adults, but there were three boys who sat next to me during Sunday school, and they made it quite a welcoming experience.

The one thing I don't think I'll ever truly understand about the church is how everyone knows you. Before I even left sacrament meeting, I had 5 people come up to me and say "You must be Libbie". Apparently everyone knew I was coming, before I even came. Must be some mind-reading or something, or some very caring bishops who wanted to make me feel welcome.

Anyways, a beautiful young lady bore her testimony about knowledge. Her name is Julia Allen and she said "You are the best tool for learning." Which made a lot of sense. She also said "Happiness comes from knowledge"

The next speaker, Amara McBride said "Sometimes we think what is asked of us is too difficult. But those things turn into the greatest blessings that we could ask for" I think this weekend I was quite overwhelmed. I felt God was asking too much. But this gave me hope.

And a very wise man, Dean Allen, I assume to be Julia's Grandfather, he said "The Savior never was a victim. He never blamed anyone for what he had to go through on the cross." He continued by saying "We don't need to be victims, we are better than that." That hit home for me. There is this real great quote that my mom wrote for my sister. We have it hanging on the wall, it states "I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become" And that's true. We are what we choose to become, no matter what our past.

(Quote from my Mom hanging on our wall)

I want to leave on this note that Dean Allen stated in his testimony, he said "We all go through difficult times. We need to remember that Heavenly Father is still in charge."

No matter what you're going through, no matter how hard it is, no matter the sacrifices you're making, or the struggles that you think you can't face, remember, that Heavenly father is still in charge, and will always be in charge. The peace that brings to my soul. And the peace I hope it brings to yours.

E-burg at It's Finest

First off, I want to start off by explaining a bit about my sister, Emilie. She is beautiful. About 5 foot 8, size 11 feet, and bright red hair. For those of you that don't know her, you are missing out, BIG TIME. 

The next best thing about Emilie, besides her beauty, is her creativity, and her love of decorating, anything and everything. Whether it's full on decorating her room, or just one of her favorite cups, everything Emilie owns, is decorated, some way or some how.

The next thing you may want to know, is about me, Libbie, 5 foot 3, size 7 feet, and blonde hair. And I like organization. I'm not obsessive about it. Nor do I care about germs or the cleanliness of things. But when in comes to clothes, books, makeup, hair, I like everything to be organized in a certain fashion.

Well, yesterday, Emilie and I started the adventure of our lives, by moving into a 12 foot by 12 foot studio apartment in the little town of Ellensburg, Washington. And because we are girls, and because we are Poirier's we have about a million things that we have to fit in this, along with the bed we are sharing, all and all the kitchen supplies.

I walk in to the apartment, and the first thing I see, is Emilie's clothes, the way that she packed them and got them here, probably involved a lot of stuffing and throwing. Needless to say, I was shocked, and we had a lot of work to do. Just to show you how things were, there are two photos below of the room.

Left Picture Features: Emilie's Wardrobe,a few of my nicely packed boxes 

Right Picture Featured: Emilie's Wardrobe and my longboard

Well, After we got settled. Meaning we got everything thrown into the room, we started to organize, and reorganize, and organize some more. Emilie had a date, so it was my plan to try and finish all the cleaning before she got back. The reason for my delightful plan, was that Emilie talked on and on about the joyous plans she had of decorating. And to her dismay, decorating is not my forte nor my joy. Therefore, I figured if I cleaned all of it, the only thing left for her to do, would be the decorating as I would relax on the bed watching, and cheering along.

However, I couldn't clean everything; my exhaustion hit me and I left to attend institute, a class for the people of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to attend every tuesday night, eat ice cream, and make friends. 

Phase Two: My Cleaning

                        

Featured: The room with never-ending work

Well Emilie came home, and I came home, after some free ice cream from institute. I had coconut, Emilie had berry. It was superb. And it was a great way to start out our night of work to begin. 

After Emilie saw my work, she was overjoyed and glad at how much I had done. But, Emilie is also very smart. And to my surprise, she asked "Did you do all this so that you wouldn't have to decorate?" I had done all this and assumed that she would come home, praise me for my efforts as a sister and think I did it all for my love and care for our sisterhood. But, my sister knows me, and apparently, she knew my intentions, and she caught on, real fast.

Needless to say, I didn't get out of decorating. But instead, I helped "decorate" the makeup section. All I did was organize all the makeup and hairbands and earrings and necklaces. And boy do they look good. And Emilie decorated the room. And did quite a splendid job.

Phase three: Decorations

 Emilie's Closet                                               Libbie's Books and Art Supplies

       

Decorations above Bed by Emilie

ADVENTURE PACKS!                            Makeup/Hair Section

Libbie's Closet + Decorations above by Emilie

My Favorite: With two Llamas featured on the left

Emilie and I ended the night with a water break. I did my scripture study. We got ready for bed. Then we said a nightly prayer together, and thanked God for the adventurous and lovely summer that will bring us close together as sisters. We finished the night by watching our favorite, Pretty Little Liars. Then fell asleep and dreamed of the wondrous things that are to come tomorrow.

Lesson of the day: If you want something done in life, it will take a lot of hard work. It will take a lot of time, a lot of energy, But it can also be a lot of fun if you let it. Life is hard and tedious sometimes, but it's worth it. And, it's a whole lot of fun. Don't miss the fun times because you're too focused on finishing the job. 

And another lesson, we need decorations in life, or it makes for a pretty plain and boring way. 

Fighting the Giant

(Goliath and David featured above: Picture provided by Lds.org Art)

I missed church today. After a very grueling surgery of wisdom teeth on Thursday, my health and energy for today prompted me to stay home, and miss out on the wonderful blessings of the Church of the Living Christ. 

I, however, am blessed to be living in a day and age where in a click of a button, I sent a text, and the sacrament was on it's way, delivered by two angels disguised as people in this life. 

I had a small piece of bread, due to my inability to chew food. I threw it to the back of my throat and swallowed. Then drank the water, after both had been prayed over and blessed. 

Immediately, after realizing the intense power the sacrament brings, with the memory of the atonement, my tears came. And they didn't stop. 

Prompted by the Lord, I asked what was taught at church, or moreover, what they learned from the Spirit that testifies truth to each and every one of us everyday. 

And I heard the story of David and Goliath. I'm always asked in the church questions that go like this "You know the story, right?" with an assuming gesture that since I grew up Catholic, I know every story in the Bible. But to most people's dismay, I wasn't the best Catholic, not even near the best Catholic as a matter of fact. Hence, I don't know the Bible stories very well at all. 

So to those of you who don't know, I'll tell you the story of Goliath, to the best of my ability. The story that I learned about 17 minutes ago to be exact. 

David was a small guy, and Goliath was a big guy, about 9 feet tall. REALLY BIG, considering today's standards. Goliath was big and he was against the Israelites and he tried to fight with them. He was also against the Lord in that aspect. David was with the Lord, and he had the Lord on his side.

When they tried to figure out who to send, David was the one to be sent. He wasn't afraid, because David had fought a bear AND a lion, and he beat both of them. So even though he was small, he was a tough small guy. The story goes on to say, that David, without sword, or spear, or protection gear, he was able to defeat Goliath the giant, and win, all in the name of the Lord. 

There is one specific verse I liked that I learned today. This is 1 Samuel 17: 33 "And David said  unto Saul, Let no man's heart fail because of him; thy servant will go and fight with this Philistine" The Philistine is the Giant, to my understanding, and David was saying that his own heart wouldn't fail, and that he would fight.

I like this because when people think of a fight, they think of the physical strength and power. They think who is stronger will be the one to win. But this verse here, clarifies something specific and powerful. It talks about the heart. David doesn't worry about his physical strength failing, or his muscles, or his legs, or his swords, or spears. He says, that his own heart won't fail because of him. And it shows the true power behind the fight. It's the heart put into it. If we have our heart whole heartedly relying on Christ, then we will win and nothing else will matter.

I think the biggest thing I learned today, is that God is preparing us. This wasn't David's first fight with something bigger or stronger than him. He had fought a lion, and a bear, and then he fought a giant. I think it's important to remember that when we are going through a hard time; (and believe me, we are all going through a hard time). It's important to remember that we have been strengthened, in times past, and the struggle we are going through now, is strengthening us for something bigger to come. 

To me, it makes me a little anxious, thinking that this struggle I'm going through now just might only be a bear compared to a huge giant I'll have to fight later. But it also makes me feel blessed and honored, that the Lord himself, is preparing me, he is preparing me, a small girl of 18 years, who is only 10 months baptized in this church. He is preparing me to face a giant someday. And it makes me happy, and it gives me the ability to push on, to try more, and to realize that this challenge today, will still be here tomorrow, but I will be stronger tomorrow to bear the fight that comes again. 

We are all in a fight, and we are all in a battle, but we've been prepared. We have the strength, God has a plan, and we can fight, and we will win. David never lost strength, his heart never failed. And he relied solely on Christ and God to get him through.

Hold on, the fight is not yet over. But the fight is worth it. I promise. 

This is my testimony, of the Lord's love, and the Lord's strength. My testimony is not the same as yesterday, but stronger than yesterday's and the one that is preparing me to the fight the battle for tomorrow.

I say these things in sacred

 and powerful and beautiful name of 

Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Dancing way off-beat

There is something about this gospel, something beautiful, something incredible. Today is Sunday, CHURCH DAY! The day that I get to wear my best, look my best, and do it all for the Lord. The interesting thing about Sunday's is they happen each and every week.

Yesterday, two truly amazing things happened. Miracles. Miracles happened.

First, my extended family, our family that we haven't talked to in years. They came to my graduation party, they came to say hello, and show that they truly cared and truly loved, and no matter what happened in these past of not speaking, that we will all still be family, no matter what. Our family had the love and courage to come and show their immense love and care that they have for me and my family. This never would have happened without God and his help. The Gospel Of Christ brings families together. Because families can and they will, be together, forever. Below is a picture of my sisters and parents, and my wonderful, caring cousins.

(Emilie, Gavin, Libbie (me), Jameson, Abbie, Aaron, Michael (dad), Maureen (mom) POIRIER's)
A memory of family, that I will truly never forget.


The next miracle was something that came out of surprise. I wrote a poem last night in my journal to describe these feelings:

June 8th 2014,
I started leaving my room messy,
walking barefoot on the street,
humming fancy songs,
singing wayyyyyy off-beat.
I forgot what it was like to be happy,
I forgot my feelings of difference.
But when I'm in my "ME" moments,
all I want to do is Dance.

-The end.

Tip of the Day: Find someone who loves  you for   you. Every single part of it; especially the weird, hyper, crazy parts. Find someone who loves you for YOU, ALL OF YOU.

Apart

(Libbie Poirier, Class of 2014, Diploma in Hand)

I can't quite believe I'm saying this: but tonight was not a special night at all. The only real thing that I can think of being so special, is that I finally figured out; what I really didn't want to figure out in the first place.

I didn't belong there, I never did. I tried to push and pry myself in, and I did a good job, until I no longer could do a good job, and I no longer could withstand my false sense of securities all around me.

I graduated tonight. Not a little one, a big one, a graduation of 13 accumulated years, all leading up to this moment, where I finally received my diploma, or a diploma holder, which I will exchange later for the real thing.

I thought I would be happy, exhilarated and thrilled, I even expected sadness, but no, not happiness, not sadness... just.... nothing. It's as if I wasn't even there. It wasn't a big deal to me, but it seemed like the biggest deal to everyone else.

What I realized tonight, probably should have been realized a long time ago, but I don't think I was ready for it. What I realized tonight, is that I'm not one of them, I'm not one of my fellow classmates. And truth is, I don't want to be.

Tonight I realized, that after becoming baptized, I lost so much. I lost my friends, I lost my status at school, I lost my interest in things so worldly. Not only did they lose interest in me, but I lost interest in them. I no longer cared to talk to them or hang out with them, or see them, at all. It was a choice I had to make so I could stay on this straight and narrow. Not all members of this church have to make this choice, in fact, it's advised not to. It is not right to isolate yourself from everything and everyone around you. But I did, because I know that I couldn't be involved with my friends, with their activities, and still live a worthy life.

It's three in the morning, and I kind of feel like crying. I can't think of one person right now, whom I could call and explain this to. Not one. And to think, I just spent this whole night surrounded by people whom I should have apparently spent my four years with. I gave that up nine months ago when I got baptized; but I didn't realize how much was gone until now.

I'm not a part of it. I was never supposed to be a part of it. And that's the part that hurts the most. God planned for me to lose it, he planned for me to lose this all, in order for me to gain the knowledge, faith, strength, and guidance offered in his church. It hurts. It hurts more than I can feel right now.

Sometimes I ponder a different life, with different circumstances, with different friends; but that would also include a different me. And what I realized tonight, is that I LIKE ME. I am proud of me. I am the happiest me that I could ever be, and I'm this way, feeling and knowing that there is no one I could call right now to talk to. There is no one whom I could put my entire trust. The only person the Lord has provided right here, right now, in this specific moment, is Christ. And that's exactly where the Lord wants me to turn.

I'm not a part of this, but I'm not supposed to be a part of it. And God is proud,  and I am proud, that tonight, I realized just how far away I am from everyone else.

Endurance

My Grandpa Leo always started the day out saying "Today's gonna be a great day." - Almost 70 years old and still kickin'  my grandpa always makes sure that his day is a great day. However, for myself, I can't always say the same. As much as I want every day to be a great day, there are just some days that really suck. One thing I realized last night, is that Satan disguises himself, in millions and billions of different ways. Sometimes he slightly leads you off path, other times, he shoots bow and arrows at you all day long. For me, I often try my hardest to dodge those arrows, but the truth is, we really just have to face them, head on. Whether we want to or not, those arrows will keep coming, and there is no way we can stop them. But we can do one thing, and one thing only, and that is to put on the Armor of God.

The Armor of God isn't as easily done and wonderful as it sounds. Yes, it is wonderful,  but it is a whole hell of a lot harder than anything we've ever done before. The Armor isn't just a quick prayer in the morning, or the intention to do good throughout the day. No, the Armor is actively pushing yourself to do better and working your butt off in order to protect yourself from the evil guiles of the adversary.  Guiles are a trap, they are defined as treacherous or cunning tricks. And believe me, the devil is treacherous, and when you start heeding to his words, instead of the Lord's is when you find yourself in grave danger, with very little possibility to get yourself out.

But that little possibility is still there. And that is through Jesus Christ, and God. They will help you. They do help you, even in ways you don't realize right now.

I can't say that today will be a great day, or even a good day. But I can say that I will do my darndest to push my hardest, to work my very best, at making this day at least remotely good, and a day that I can be proud of when I look back in the eternities. A day that I can look back and say "Today, I made it. I pushed through, I tried. And because of today, it made me more capable to endure tomorrow." That's what the Gospel is about. Pushing through, becoming stronger, enduring more, enduring further, and never giving up, even after the day the Lord has come.- That's the definition of enduring to the end. And today, and everyday. I am and you are, enduring to the end.