The Hope to Endure

"Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear unto my cry; hold not thy peace at my tears: for I am a stranger with thee, and a sojourner, as all my fathers were. O spare me, that I may recover strength, before I go hence, and be no more"
(Psalm 39: 12-13)

As I contemplate life, and my purpose in it, the more and more I know that my calling is to become like Jesus Christ.

The more sure I am of the missionary work that he has in store for me.

My friend Daniel got baptized today.

He called me afterward, and told me thank you. He thanked me for having the courage to introduce him to the church and the missionaries, he was grateful that he followed Christ and is experiencing the happiness of now being a part of his church.

I have a friend Masaki, and he said "By hearing my story, I want people to think about Christ, not me. I want them to realize that they can keep going and not because of me but because of Heavenly Father."

And that's so true. Daniel thanked me, because if it weren't for me, he wouldn't have heard about the church this summer, or have gotten baptized today. But, if it weren't for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, I wouldn't have even been there.

I think the most important thing in life, is becoming as Christ would.

It's moments like these that make me know with a surety, that God is on my side, and my goal to become like Christ can be reached with their help.

God gives me hope.

I emailed Missionary President's wife in Arizona. I asked her about the bike situation. Everyone in the Arizona Tempe mission are required to ride bikes, and the price of the bike they recommended with everything that was necessary (head light, reflector, helmet, bike lock, etc.), was getting expensive. I have saved money for my mission. But I didn't save money for a bike, and a camelbak(which is also required), and for Temple Garments, and everything else included for a mission.

The bike was by far the most overwhelming task.
The mission president found me a sister missionary who is leaving in December and is willing to sell her bike to me.
I contacted her this morning to discus the prices.

She started crying and told me how happy she was that I was going on a mission, and that she knows how many people I will bless and how she is so grateful that I made the choice to join the church and serve a mission.

She cried, I cried, two complete strangers, one a phone call, crying together. Crying with Christ.

She told me she does not want to sell it, but she wants to give it to me. She told me that if she gives it to me, all she wants from me, is that I will give it my all, and I will do my very best that I can on my mission.

I started crying more, she cried more too.

Sometimes you don't realize how mindful God is of you and your situation.
I truly didn't realize how much God has been watching out for me.

I sometimes think that I'm alone in this, and that I consistently feel like I have to figure it all out alone, but God consistently proves me wrong. And he shows me over and over that all my needs will be taken care of.

I went to the temple today.
It was a blessing.
I got baptized for people who were not able to be baptized on this earth.
And it was beautiful.

In the temple, there are twelve Ox, they represent the 12 tribes of Israel(or the 12 sons of Jacob.) We are all a part of those tribes. And slowly but surely, we are being brought back together into the big loving family of Heavenly Father.

We were scattered, all about the earth, but now we can all rejoin Christ and God in his Heavenly Kingdom.

The work of missionaries is real, I'm doing it, you're doing it, we are all doing it, when we act in Christ each and every day of our lives.

I know that Christ is my savior. I know that God is mindful of me.
I know it. I know it more than I know the english language. I know it more than the back of my hand. I know it more than I know that my name is Libbie Rose Poirier and it's printed on my birth certificate.
I know it's true. I can't deny that. I just truly know it. 

In the sacred name, of Jesus Christ, this is his church, and he is hastening the work,

Amen. 

(Daniel Rossback- He got baptized today! October 17, 2014.)

I wasn't just a number

I was somebody.

I am a child of God.

As preparing for my mission, I watch and prepare and see what I need to do to be a missionary.

It hits me so hard every single time I watch this missionary work.

I told my friend today:

I never realized how big a part I was for the missionaries. And how all the missionaries care so much for those they teach. My name wasn't just on a list. I was discussed, I was talked about.

My needs, my wants, my desires, my purposes, meant something to them. They wanted to help me. I wasn't just on a list. I was planned and prepared for with every single missionary that I met with.

They spent countless hours saying my name, praying to the Lord, asking God, what they should teach me.

I used to think that missionary work was random or just completely the same for everyone. I used to think, that the first lesson I received, was the exact same as someone else. Or that all the lessons followed were as the order they were supposed to be and the lesson they were told to teach me.

It wasn't like that. The missionaries wrote my name down, and then talked about me. They talked about my progress, they talked about where I was at in life. They talked about what I might have concerns for. They talked about my weaknesses, they talked about what they can best do, to help me.

They made a plan for me, they made a plan for what they would teach me. And they did it, they reached me as Christ would.

They loved me as Christ loved those he served.

I wasn't just some number or another investigator of the church.

 I was a person.
I was a child of God to them. 

I cannot even comprehend how emotional I will be when I become a missionary. I see the effort, and each and every time I see it, I realize how much effort and love and care was put into me. How much the missionaries did and sacrificed, in order for me to learn, and to feel the holy spirit.

They not only taught me, but they fasted for me, and they fasted for my family. They fasted for my baptism, they prayed night and day for me, and when we had lessons, they prayed with me. They put me in their emails home, they wrote about me to their family. They asked their family and friends to pray for me. They asked God to give me strength, to help me change, to help me reach my goals of baptism and growing closer to Jesus Christ.

They truly cared.
They truly loved.
They truly are the Followers and Disciples of Jesus Christ.

Missionaries are real, they wear that name tag for a reason. 

They are truly representatives of Jesus Christ.

And they helped me grow closer to Christ, through their efforts, and service, while teaching me.
And they helped me become baptized, to grow and continue in faith towards my Savior, Jesus Christ.

(My Baptism in a river, with Missionary: Elder Decker) 

In Jesus' beautiful and Sacred name,

Amen.

Never Alone

Being alone is sad,
but an even worse feeling, is being surrounded by people, and still feeling alone.

It makes me wonder how the Savior felt, knowing that everything he was going through, that no one understood, no one could understand. He was utterly alone.

He didn't have a shoulder to cry on, he didn't have a brother to call, or his best friend by his side. He walked his path alone, he took the cross alone, he died for all of us, alone. 

He did all this, so that we wouldn't have to feel alone.
So that when we go through our trials that are one on millionth or kazillionth of what he's gone through, that we don't have to feel alone.

Because our Savior understands, our Savior knows.

It's really hard feeling sad. Searching your contact list, looking to see if you could find one person who may understand just exactly what you're going through.

Life wasn't meant to be hard, but it also wasn't intended to be easy.

We knew the challenges we would face, we knew how hard it was going to be.
We knew how this earthly world would treat us when we came down here,
but we still decided to come.

It makes me wonder, what did I know then, that I don't know now, that proves to me,
that all these struggles and trials on this earth are worth it.

Are worth the blessings and the thanksgivings we get in Heaven.

Whatever we had in the pre-mortal life before this, wasn't nearly as much as the potential we have in the life to come.

Apparently, it's worth it.

And even though it's hard, we don't have to do it alone.

Our Savior is with us, every step of the way.

I may not have a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold, or just someone to hold me tight till my tears go away,

but I do have Christ, and he cares, and he understands,

And he'll be with me, even when I feel like no one else is.

I'm grateful for that. I'm truly blessed.

Thank you Jesus,
Thank you my Savior,
thank you for never abandoning me,
thank you for helping me.
Thank you for never given up.

In Jesus' Name,
-Amen

Dust Mites

Microscopic bugs that live off of dead skin cells, and if you're lucky, you won't be allergic to all of these little bugs that live everywhere, especially in hot climates.

They are a bit like Satan.

A dust mite isn't huge. It isn't this huge spider bug that comes and eats you and makes you miserable.

No, not at all.

It just all these tiny little bugs that microscopically move around you until they finally start to get to you, and cause reactions and symptoms that slowly but steadily affect you and others around you.

That's what Satan does.

Satan is tricky. He is a dust mite.

Satan knows us, so well. He knows that if he throws heroine in front of us and says "take the heroin, it's good," that most of us can see easily that it is bad and Satan is taking us away.

Satan doesn't send a "bad man" our way who gives us a gun and asks us to join his gang.

No, that would be way to obvious, way too wrong. Way too easy for people who love God to easily say "No, I won't shoot someone.".

Satan works in such a different way.
He is the leader of one huge colony of dust mites who do tiny things here and there. At first, they don't matter. If you speed a little bit one day, or you say a bad word, or maybe you slip up and say a lie, or cheat on just one question on the test, or say one bad thing about your friend or your roommate.

These little tiny sins that we do everyday. They don't seem bad. I mean, we aren't killing anyone are we? We aren't really hurting anyone, are we?

Maybe we don't directly hurt someone, maybe we don't intentionally do it. But each and every day, as we slowly and steadily allow those small things to become habits in our lives, we are slowly but steadily allow Satan to have more and more influence over our lives.

Maybe it's just one comment here or there, but those comments add up, they cause anger, they cause pain, to the giver and the receiver.

And then when we finally want to stop, when we want to stop gossiping and stop lying, or stop cheating, it becomes that much harder because they are our daily habits.

Those little sins, they do hurt. Maybe we think they are less than murder, or adultery.
But I assure you, they are just as bad.

God see's sin as sin.
No unclean person can enter into his presence.

If you are a liar, or, if you are a murderer,
God see's you the same. He see's you as a sinner.

And people who are in their sin will never be able to enter God's kingdom.
No matter what sin it is.

No sin will ever be allowed.
Because God is pure, God's kingdom is pure, it's a place of perfect purity, there is no room for any sin.

That's why God gave Jesus, His Sacred Son.

Because Jesus understands sin. He understands all of our weaknesses, he understands all of our temptations. He understands all of the reasons we want to sin, and the reasons why we choose to sin. Jesus knows it all, because... he experienced IT ALL.

Jesus Christ is our advocate.
When God is there to judge us,
He will be a asking Jesus Christ about us.

He will ask if we were sinners.
He will ask if we repented.
He will ask if we have faith in Christ.
He will ask if we never gave up.
He will ask if Jesus find's us acceptable to enter into His Kingdom.

Jesus is our advocate.
I heard this beautiful story once.
It was the story of Christ.
The story of a huge storage room.
In it, were every single sin that was ever committed.
There was a drawer full of sexual sins, a drawer full of alcohol and drug sins,
a drawer full of lies, a drawer full of disobedience, a drawer full of hate, a drawer full of anger. There was a drawer for every single sin, and all of them were committed by me.

Jesus walks in, and slowly, kindly, and gently, he opens the drawer.
He pulls out the first sin.
Where my name is, he crosses it out, and he signs his own name.
My name is no longer seen.
He goes to the next sin, and he signs his name again.
Then he goes to the next sin, they get worse and worse as he goes along, and he signs it.

He literally signs away every single sin that I ever committed,
and I am free.
And I am sinless, and I am able to return to God, my Heavenly Father.

I am welcome, and I am loved.

At the end, Jesus gives me a big hug, he says he loves me, and he says, you are always welcome,
please stay.

That kingdom is now my home.
My place to live, and all of was done, through my Savior Jesus Christ.

I am worthy, I am pure, and God had just been waiting for me to start believing and start following and Jesus came right on in and took every one of my sins.

The beauty of gospel is this: you can always change. You always have the opportunity to become spotless before the day of the Lord comes.

You can grow, you can change, and best of all, you can follow the Holy Spirit, who will guide you in all things and bring unto you the greatest happiness we could ever experience.

Don't let the dust mites get you down.
You're better than that.
And Christ knows it, God knows it, and Satan knows it too, he just won't give up the fight.

But keep fighting, stay on God's side. He will protect you, and bring you peace.

Catholic Meets Mormon

His name is Venture, like "ADVENTURE."
He approached me after my New Testament class, which is a course that he is also taking.

He is Catholic and he goes to BYU-Hawaii, a Mormon school. He is a very happy person. And he follows God with all his heart.

It's interesting some of the things I learned in class today.
I have always known of the bible, since I was a baby. I was taught by wonderful Catholic parents.
We went to church every Sunday, and we would frequent the local Bagel Shop called "Jeepers" right after church. It was a perfect breakfast right after church.

But my church going days started way before then.

My Grandma Pat, is a born and raised Catholic who raised all her children in the Catholic church. I have fond memories of going to Grandma's house to go to early morning church with her. We would go everyday at 6 am! And afterward was always my favorite! (not saying that church wasn't fun, but I was young, and it was early). But everyday, after church there was this thing called "Coffee-Hour". I would never drink the coffee, because at age 6, coffee was pretty gross. BUT! I would always eat the donuts. The circle donuts that tasted so good.

It was always the weirdest thing for me to see Father Tom, who is a Catholic Priest, outside of church, wearing his black Catholic Priest suit. I was used to the white robes. But I felt immensely special knowing that I was the only one out of ALL My friends to see Father Tom outside of church.

Even at a young age, I was very analytical. I distinctly remember always watching him, wondering what he did, how he acted, and when he would go "home" (I thought his home was the church, and that he slept there.) It was fascinating to try and guess all these life details about him, and what he did besides conduct mass everyday. I could have asked, but I found it more interesting to analyze and guess, and I was a bit fearful of the big bellied man who spoke in front of hundreds of people each week.

My point being, is that I knew the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John very well. And often at church we would hear all about Paul's letters to the Corinthians or to the Galatians, or the Colossians (which I still have trouble pronouncing).

I would hear these gospels every week. But I had never really analyzed them myself. So, although I was a good-church going Catholic, I wasn't the best Catholic at home, I didn't read the bible, nor did I pray that often alone. But each night, my Mom would sing my favorite Christian song to me until I fell asleep. And that was her prayer for me.

Some may wonder, why I speak about being Catholic, when I am Mormon, and believe 100% in the Mormon beliefs.

The reason I reminisce about my Catholic days, is not because they mislead me, or because they taught false doctrine, or tried to get followers away from God. No, I talk about my Catholic days because of the exact opposite. They helped me have the knowledge of the gospels.(Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John).

By the time I was 6, I was already on my journey, learning and loving God with every step of the way.

I was lead from the beginning, and I won't stop being lead. Because God will never abandon me. He started me off good, on good grounds, with a great foundation of the knowledge of Jesus Christ, my Savior. The more I study, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more I want to learn.

God never wants me to stop learning. He ignited that fire in me during each of those masses I attended, during all the "Coffee-Hours", during the church and then Jeepers breakfast, and the prayers and guidance of a loving Catholic family who has wanted only the best for me.

I am grateful for my childhood. I am grateful for my upbringing. God has a plan, and I know that he made no mistake when I was born to my parents, with my sisters, to my grandparents, and aunts and uncles. We are all a family for a reason, and I truly believe it.

(17 May, 2013. Me and Grandma Pat at Pybus Market) 

I love my family,

With love,
-Libbie Poirier

A Dive through the Sky

Skydiving:

Although thrilling and exciting, It wasn't scary.

Maybe you don't believe me, but even the guy that was strapped behind me and pulling the shoot, told me that he was surprised at how calm I was, and that I wasn't even scared.

I honestly thought I would be scared. I thought I would be freaked out, and it would be so scary, especially while preparing and getting on the plane and jumping out, and then free falling for 60 full seconds until the shoot was pulled.

For me, it wasn't scary at all.

I don't really know why.

I can really only contemplate it, and, all I've got is connecting it to my life here on earth and God.

Before we came to the earth, we were with God. He loved us, AND we loved him. We had the option before earth, if we wanted to follow Satan, or Jesus. By following Jesus, we chose to come to this wonderful, beautiful, glorious earth. We chose that we wanted to have a home for our spirits, that's why we were given a body. 9 months of preparation...  we were all made in our mommy's tummy's and then out we came, body and spirit, to make us a soul.

I think, the reason that I wasn't scared, is because there was someone who was strapped to me, who had done this before, and had all knowledge of exactly what to do to make us land safely.

I knew where the destination was, and I knew where the jump was. All that I didn't know, was the in-betweens. The soaring through the air, when the shoot was going to be pulled, when we would do flips in the air, or spin round and round till I felt sick, and then suddenly stop spinning and just see the beautiful ocean with all the mountains, and realize that I'm on an island 14 thousand feet in the air, and then slowly but steadily as we made a landing on the ground and the ride was over, and I felt good, and we gave a hi-five and a hug, and he said, "good job!"

I think that it's a bit like life. We know where we came from, we came from our parents, and we essentially came from God before this life. And we know where we are going, we are going to return to God.

It's just all the in-betweens that we don't know.

But if we trust and follow the instructions, we will make it safe.

I was instructed to make sure that I was wearing the gear safely, that I had my eye goggles strapped on, that I would tuck in during the jump, and then I would open my arms and fly when I was tapped on the shoulder too. And then as we were landing, that I would life my legs up and we could make it safely to the ground.

I followed my instructions, and my instructor lead me safely to where I need to go.

God is the instructor, he is leading us, guiding us, prompting us, helping us. He is strapped to us, wanting to be with us everywhere we go.

It's only when we decide we don't want him anymore, that things get scary. That if we choose to unstrap ourselves from God and try to get away, that's when life gets even harder. That's when you don't see any plan for your life and you don't know if you're going to land safely or not. At first it may feel fun, being all alone, but then when you realize you're all alone, that's when you feel like you have no one to surround you or be with you at all.

But that doesn't mean that God won't come swooping in and strap you in, if you just ask.
And God is all powerful and all wonderful, and he can come flying through the sky so fast and pick you up. No matter how close you are to the ground or how far off the path you are.

God will pick you right up and help you land safely.

I think that's why I wasn't scared.

I know that sky-diving had a plan, it had a course, and I truly trusted and believed, that I would land safely back to where I wanted to go, and after I arrived, I would have one huge experience that I had never experienced before.

God is a sky-dive instructor, God is my hero, God is guiding me, and instructing me where to go, and he is making sure that I am safe all the way home. Home where I can give him a big hug, I can tell him "THANKS!" and he can hug me back, and tell me "Good Job, Congratulations, You did it."

I know this is the truth, I know that God is always here, God will always guide us safely through the unknown skies, and if we are smart and lucky enough, we will look at where we are at in the sky, and just enjoy the beauty in all of it.


In Jesus Christ's Sacred name, I pray,

-Amen

Sky Diving with Malia, Minlief, Alecsa, and ME

My Home on Earth

The feeling that I have right now is one that can not be described with all the emotions and value behind it.

Because the value of friends who are family, is unmeasurable. Just as the value of family is unmeasurable.

I woke up today, just like any other day.
Actually, I was tired. Because last night I stayed up late at a friend's house for "art night", where I painted a picture of a mushroom, which... if I'm lucky, it might go up on their art wall!! (Which is a big deal)

This morning, I went to breakfast found some friends and ate with them until class.
I really had a lot of energy today so after class and eating lunch, I wanted to do something.

People were busy, and tired, and hungry, so I couldn't find someone who wanted to do anything.
Except one friend! So him and I went on a short hike where we got eaten by mosquitoes.

It is called the PCC Hike, PCC-Polynesian Cultural Center hike.

It's one of the not so man-made trails, back and forth through a creek till you get to the top and you can jump in by a small water fall.

It was a short hike, and afterwards, I still felt full of energy.

I went on a short run about a mile or so to Laie Point. I was pretty hot from the run, so I went there to jump off the cliff into the water.

Not to my surprise, there were a group of people there whom I had known and become friends with!
I jumped off once, and then as they left, I went on my way and finished my run.

I didn't bring my phone on my run, or else I would have gotten a picture of the most beautiful thing in Laie at night, the Laie Temple.

I wasn't going to run towards it, instead I was going to take a shorter route.
But something inside me prompted me to run nearer and towards it.

During the 5 block radius, I was staring straight at the temple and jogging towards it.
Everything was getting dark, but the darker it got, the brighter the temple became.

The Laie Temple is beautiful.
A place where even in the darkest of hours, it will be shining bright.

This week was a harder week for me, I like it here, but I was having a lot of trouble adjusting to my new life here.
I didn't have a kitten sleeping with me like in Ellensburg, I didn't have my sister sleeping right next to me, or my parents so near for my mom to make me soup, my favorite thing, and mostly the freedom and ability to get in my car and go wherever I want, whenever I want, whenever I feel like it.

Here it's like, I want to go somewhere, I take a bus, or I walk, or I run, or I find a friend who drives.
And this limited ability to go somewhere that I want to go is hard.

Especially when I just want a break away from everything going on.

School can be stressful, and honestly, sometimes I just get sad.
While also preparing for a mission, I'm swamped on where I start, who I should call, what I should do?
I've never done this before, and most of my friends here haven't filled out their information to get their plane ticket to the MTC, or prepare a bike for them in their area they will be serving.

Even if the people here are returned missionaries, their parents often just did the work for them.

But here, in Laie, many miles away from the Wenatchee civilization, I have become overwhelmed with the work that I have in order to be ready and prepared for my mission to Arizona.

But tonight, things were different. As I ran towards the Temple, things were lifted. I just stared for five minutes at the beauty of the temple. I just stared, and it was lovely. I just knew, that things were going to be okay. That I would be okay, and this place where I'm at right now,,
This place is my home.

I had the wonderful opportunity for my friend, Masaki to give me a blessing on Tuesday night. It had been a good day. But I had been so sad, and so overwhelmed.

The priesthood blessing gave me answers I wouldn't have expected, and comfort that I couldn't have imagined, and strength that I've experienced all throughout my day.

As I jogged slowly back from the Temple, I took out my earphones, and I listened to the sounds of my fellow classmates playing soccer, and the mother walking by with her child in her stroller, and I just had this 100 percent feeling that right here, right now, is exactly where God wants me.
That I am doing what he wants, that I am going to be OKAY! And that I AM OKAY! I am more than OKAY! I am great.

These people here aren't just my friends, they are my family, they are my second family; dear to my heart, and dear to my soul, this place is my home.

(Me jumping of PCC falls with a big smile on my face) 

I know that God lives, I know that he is here, and that he is mindful of me and watching over me,
in Jesus Name,
-Amen