I took the long way home Tonight

I took the long way home tonight.
Past my first cigarette, past my first drink, past the place where I first snuck out.
I drove slowly past the canal where I had my first kiss behind an old house.
I drove past the place where I snuck through a cut fence to run away from the cops that were chasing us. I went past the place where I hiked with my past boyfriends.

 And in a neighborhood nearby,
 where I had my first love.
The street that I look towards
every time I drive by.

I took the long way home tonight. I watched and saw as my childhood flew by.

A friend asked me today why I became Mormon so fast. How I knew, How I changed "just like that".
I could say it was the immediate comfort, the overwhelming Spirit that testified of truth. That God's confirming spirit, showed me that this was His way.

But the truth is, it wasn't that moment that changed everything.
It was everything else, everything before, that prepared me for that exact moment.

It was my first communion in my second grade.
 It was my first real job, at McDonald's.
 It was the first time the cops caught me, outside some motel,
 where they called my parents for them to take me home.

That first time that I ran away, that I hitch-hiked,
in hopes that I may.
just get away from all that troubled me,
I thought it would be my solution, you see.

I took the long way home tonight. I reflected on all that has all gone past.
I realized that through hurts through pain,
through feelings of mine that felt so slain.
I realized that through tears and joy,
with friends, families, girls, and boy,

That I've done it,
I've made it 19 years and more,
and I've got so much more of this world
to explore.

I'll have this year, for my 19,
then next year for 20,
then 21, 22, 23, 24,
The years will just increase to more.

It wasn't just in that moment of Prayer,
that God showed me his plan,
that He showed me He was there.

It was all the moments combined before,
And all the coming moments more.

I took the long way home tonight.
And to me, it felt quite Alright.

What's Under Your Umbrella?

Bendiciones, benedictions, segen- In other words : BLESSINGS! 

I have never quite understood the concept of blessings.

The missionaries promised me that if I read the scriptures, I will receive blessings, if I pay my tithing,  if I obey the commandments, if I am kind to others, if I serve people, if I go on a mission, I will receive blessings, and so will my family.

So what are blessings? They come from God, they come from our obedience and efforts, they are a gift from Heavenly Father, and they bring us joy.

But if they are a gift, why do we have to work for them?

One of the most different things of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is that we, as members, pay tithing. Tithing is 10% given to the church of our income. They did it in the old testament and the new testament, and it's what God has commanded us to do. It's one of the things that I have found most difficult explaining to other people, for why we give money. 

And it comes along with the explanation, that we will be blessed. Which is completely true. 

But what does that mean? Does it mean we will be blessed with a good job, more money later on, more happiness, or help to avoid temptations from the adversary (Satan). 

Yes it means all those things, but how? 

I used to think of Blessings like a box, that was sent down from Heavenly Father. It was my gift. I would open it, and then I would get my blessings. But then I started thinking of it more like little things, like a little box here and there in my house, where I open it, and I feel a little joy, or a get a call from someone for a job interview that I've been wanting.

But then I realized, that blessings are more like rain drops. Actually, they are more like hail, they are coming down all around us, everywhere. 

And we are the ones choosing which ones we WANT to receive. 

I think that I used to just stand outside with a cup, and catch all the blessings I could. 

But what if we used a bucket? And caught EVEN more blessings.

Or... a wheel barrow! Think of how many blessings we could catch then.

Or the back of a truck, or a house with an open roof! 

Everything could just be flooded with blessings! If we just allow ourselves to receive them.

And I just realized. When God talks to us in the scriptures, he is asking us to consecrate our whole lives towards him! That doesn't mean we go to church every day 24/7, but it means that in all that we do, we should be looking towards him. Always.

When we pray each morning, it's like opening the roof in our room, to receive blessings,

 if you pray as a family, it's like opening the whole house to receive blessings, 

when you pray before a test, it's opening your brain to receive the blessings,

 when we pray over the food, it's opening our bodies to blessings.

When you pay tithing, it's opening your finances to endless blessings,

when you try to do everything according to God's will, in everyday of your life,

it's opening up EVERY single day for God to give you blessings.

When you read, it's opening up the doors to give you blessings.

Sometimes we think God is picky and choosy about the blessings that he gives us.

But that's not true at all.

WE ARE the ones that are picking which blessings we actually want to get from God.

Sometimes, on bad days, we even stand with an umbrella trying not receive any of the blessings.

God is constantly pouring down blessings. I promise.

We are the ones who choose to receive them.  

In the name of Jesus Christ,

Amen! 

True Discipleship

Okay so two things you need to know about me.
I'm the most impatient person in the whole entire world.
And secondly, when I'm being impatient, I'm the most irritable person in the whole entire world.

I don't know what's been up with me lately, but I've been sluggish and tired, not feeling well, and just straight out exhausted.

I didn't want to go to church yesterday. But I did, because it's the right thing to do. And it was fast Sunday, and so it seemed to make my day even longer.

I woke up this morning, and I knew the way I was feeling. So I said my morning prayer. I included asking for the courage and energy to go to Family Home Evening (A youth group that our church does on Monday nights).

As the time grew closer, the temptation not to go, got even bigger. Home was sounding better and better as 7pm was rolling around.

But at 6:55pm, I got my stuff all ready, and decided to go. I showed up 10 minutes late, but it being "Mormon Standard Time", I arrived before the lesson even started.

And since the moment I stepped out of my car until the moment that I got back home, I was needed.
It started out with helping a friend open the doors of the car and wheel one of my very best friends in to get to FHE. (Family Home Evening). Then after I got in, a friend immediately stood to give me a hug and say hello. Then another friend who I haven't seen for a few months wanted to speak with me. The night moved on. A good friend needed a photo with me. Other people needed to talk to me.

Then one of the church leaders needed to have a meeting with me, right as I was trying to leave. And then after the meeting, another lovely girl in our branch (another word for church congregation), needed my opinion about classes. And then someone else just wanted to talk.

I was exhausted. I had only planned on staying 45 minutes. But I stayed for 2 hours.

So when I finally made it to my car, stomping the whole way there because I wanted to be home. I turned on the engine, and said "I'm sorry God, for being so mad" and naturally, as the healthiest way that I deal with my anger...
I blasted the music as loud as I could and I screamed almost all the way home until I couldn't scream anymore.

Finally, when my voice ran out, and the songs were over... I cried.

I didn't even want to go, but then I did, and it seemed I never even got a break, and it was wayyy longer than expected.

I don't really know the point of this story.
But I think some days, there are days where you feel like you just can't go anymore. It's like your a car, and your engine died. Or you're a bike, and the pedals are gone. Or you're a plane and both your wings got cut off, so you just spiral down, you just let go of the wheel and hope you make it to the next day.

I, then think of Christ, there isn't a moment in the bible where it says that Jesus just chilled, and watched a show. Or that he slept in, or that he took a nap.

No. In fact, it's just the opposite.
It seems as if every single moment of Jesus' short lived life (probably mid 20's when he died), Every single moment was spent on someone else.

He walked past the fisherman, and said "come follow me and be fishers of men" then he taught them. Even when he was like 12, he was teaching the Pharisee's in the temple. Then when Lazarus parents ran to Jesus and needed him to raise Lazarus, and when he needed to turn 2 loaves of bread and some fish to feed 500 people. And then when he needed to change the water to wine for the wedding, and then when he needed to have the last supper to give us remembrance of the sacrifice he made for us.

Jesus was a man that just "GO GO GO" He was like an energizer bunny. But probably not as hyper, probably more calm, mature, collected, and probably not like me, screaming at the top of his lungs because a few people asked him a few questions.

Jesus did it all, and he never once complained. He just took it, because he loves us all, and he wants to help all of us.

It really humbles me. It puts me in a place where I realize, I can't be thinking of myself. I can't be so angry and mad, when people show their love for me, or show their need of me. I should be grateful that people even noticed I was there.

Jesus did so much, and he never stopped to think of himself. Even at his last moments he said "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."

He wasn't thinking about himself  or his pain. He was thinking of his fellow brethren who were being crucified right beside him.

I think that's what I learned tonight. Jesus was never about himself. Jesus never is about himself. He is about everyone else, except himself, and that's why Jesus is happy. That's why Jesus has more glory than any other person who has ever lived. He has the glory because he helps everyone else experience joy and happiness and glory.

That's true discipleship, to someday, to learn to lose yourself in the service of others.
Then can you experience true joy.

In the name of Jesus Chirst,
-Amen

A Christmas Story

In the Spirit of Christmas! 

My friend Malia and I took a ride through the Polynesian Cultural Center tonight, where we hopped on a Canoe and had our friend Niki push the back, with 20 other people visiting the place.

We learned about the story of the birth of Jesus in the Celebration of Christmas.

I learned something new in my own personal study. The scriptures in the Book of Mormon, again tell of the birth of Jesus. It's not as poetic, and it's not from a first hand account, because they were not in Bethlehem, therefore they couldn't tell a first hand account. But they had seen the sign of his coming, they had seen the star and they did believe.

3 Nephi 1: 17 "And they began to know that the Son of God must shortly appear; yea, in fine, all the people upon the face of the whole earth from the west to the east, both in the land north and in the land south, were so exceedingly astonished that they fell to the earth.

 18 For they knew that the prophets had testified of these things for many years, and that the sign which had been given was already at hand; and they began to fear because of their iniquity and their unbelief.

 19 And it came to pass that there was no darkness in all that night, but it was as light as though it was mid-day. And it came to pass that the sun did rise in the morning again, according to its proper order; and they knew that it was the day that the Lord should be born, because of the sign which had been given.

 20 And it had come to pass, yea, all things, every whit, according to the words of the prophets.

 21 And it came to pass also that a new star did appear, according to the word."

And after reading this, I realized, the faith that they had. To truly believe that a son was being born. Just like the people who weren't in Bethlehem, and saw the star and believed, so did the people in the America's. They too, saw the signs, and they too believed that Jesus had come and was born.

I sometimes wonder, if I was alive at their time, and I had just a "big star" in the sky as proof that the Messiah would be born, would I believe it? 

Not only would I believe it, but would I be so astonished that I would "fall to the earth" as they did in this scripture here. Would I truly know in my heart that this was the Messiah. How would I know? 

I think some of these same questions come to people today. How do we know there is a God? And not only that, how can we actually believe that he Loves us AND cares for us! And believing that his only begotten Son came and sacrificed for our sins! 

Believing without seeing, is that what faith is? Or is it seeing everything, except the one critical piece, and then believing? Because in all honestly, the people saw all the signs. There was the star, and there was no darkness, and it was light, it was "all things, every whit, according to the words of the prophets." Every single thing was exactly one point. Every single thing was exactly what the prophets predicted. They SAW everything, except baby Jesus. 

I asked my friend a question once, I asked her why the bible just didn't say straight forward "there will be a book that will come forward, and it will be called the Book of Mormon." I said it didn't make sense to me, that if it said that, then everyone that wants proof, would have proof, and they would know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I desire that so much, for people to understand the Book of Mormon, as I understand it, and I want them to experience the joy that it brings me.

She asked me "Do you think it would be easier to convince people that it's the word of God if it said that in the bible?" 

I Said "OF COURSE! Yes! it would be WAYYYY easier" 

She explained, that maybe that's why. That God isn't testing our ability to see, hear, read, and analyze all the details to make 'factual information'... but instead, maybe he wants us to learn, that even when we see everything that was predicted from the prophets, and we feel good about it in our heart, that we can choose to go forward with FAITH, because we do see, we do know, all except the one critical important detail of that belief. 

And how do we know if that one critical detail is the truth? if there is no book that says it, if we can't see it, how do we know?

How did the people who saw all the signs, but didn't see Jesus, know that Jesus was born, and KNOW that he was the Messiah...

They knew it in their hearts. They prayed, they received answer from God. They knew it will their heart, and because they knew it in their hearts,  it became a stronger answer and a stronger "fact" than anything they had ever known before. It meant so much more to them now that they knew it for themselves. They didn't need the "proof" the proof was all around, they just needed to know in their hearts.

And that's how we can know today too.

We can know that with many questions we have in our Heart to God. Especially during this Christmas season. Was Jesus the Son of God? Was Jesus born in Bethlehem? Did he take away the sins of the world? 

I know it to be true. I know that Jesus is my Savior, I know that he is the Messiah. I know that he was sent from God, and that God is his father, and that we are all children of God. I know that Jesus loves me, and I know that during this Christmas season, it is the most excellent time of the year to celebrate the birth of our Beloved Savior Jesus Christ, and have gratitude for what he did for us. I know it to be true, because I know it in my heart.

I challenge you to do the same. I challenge you to pray, and to ask God, if Jesus is the Savior, if he is the son of God, if he is the Messiah. Whether you are Mormon, Catholic, Atheist, Buddhist, Agnostic, Jewish, Islamic, Lutheran, or whichever religion or non-religion person you are. I promise that if you ask with a sincere heart, open to the answer, I promise that you will be overwhelmed with the grace and love of our Lord Jesus Christ. I promise it is worth it.

These things I say, in the sacred name, of Jesus Christ,

Amen 

(The sunrise this morning on our morning bike ride 6:30am) 

Proof is all around us, we just have to open our eyes to see it

Daughter of A King

Today was a day.
After waking up, my friend, Malia, and I decided to go to the beach.
It was a warm day, so we were excited because it's been raining here lately.

We get to the beach, set out all our stuff and start to tan.
Within 2 minutes, I'm not kidding you, we feel one rain drop, and believe me, when you feel a rain drop in La'ie Hawaii, then you run, as fast as you can.

We started putting away our towels and putting our clothes back on, over our swimsuits, hopped on our bikes and started pedaling just as it started pouring down rain.

We, of course, got soaked, before we even made it to the cafeteria.

I headed back to my dorm, when Malia decided to go study in the library. She isn't studious, so I don't know what's come over her. Maybe it's because it's finals week, but I haven't seemed to notice.

It was weird. I am completely packed, and I had my temple dress all packed away too.
When people go to the temple, we wear a white dress inside while we perform sacred ordinances.

Anyways, I had it all packed away because I went to the temple last night, and I assumed I would be too busy to go anytime after that, so it was packed in my suitcase. But, at 1:45pm, right after Malia and I ate, I felt super prompted that I needed to go to the temple. Long story short, after contemplating in my head for 10 minutes, I decided to go. I was too late to go for a full-session of temple goodness, but I did initiatories. Which are just the introductions into a session that need to be done before the session.

But before I left, I really wondered why God wanted me to go so badly, when I really wanted to lay in my bed and put on my warm sweater and sweatpants and watch pretty little liars with hot cocoa as it is raining outside.

As soon as I left my dorm, I ran into the lovely lady whom always checks if my room is clean, I got to see her and her son, and that alone was reason enough why God wanted me out of my room. To speak to her, and be friendly for one of the first times.

Then right before I entered the temple, I saw one of my good friends who works at the temple (by work, I mean volunteer, no one gets paid) He lost his keys, and needed help finding them, I didn't help much. But he gave me a hug and went on his way.

Then, as I started to do the initiatories, I realized that the names of the people whom I was performing ordinances for, were French! They were from France! And one of the names ended in Ducharme! Whom I think is related to me! It was so cool.

I'm looking at my family tree right now, and in the 1200's, I found an ancestor name Louis IX, "Saint Louis" King of France.  No way!

I think it's great to know about your family, and I think that's what God wanted me to learn. To seek out my ancestors and my heritage. It's important because they are my family, and in Heaven, I will get to be with all of them!

It will be so fun. I will be with Kings and Queens, and Dukes, and Courts, and Courtesses, and I'll also be with peasants, and maids, and servants, but it won't matter! Because in God's kingdom, it isn't like that. No one is better than another, we are all equal, and He loves us all the same!

If you're interested in your family history!
You can go to familysearch.org
And find files, and pictures, and family members. I thought it would be hard at first, but all I did is type in my grandparents names, and their parents and I got connected to ancestry down until the 900's! It's so cool the happiness learning and knowing about family brings you.

I love my family, yes I do! And Families can be together forever through Heavenly Father's Plan!

I'm so excited to be with my family for eternity someday!

INFORMATION ABOUT KING LOUIS, AKA MY GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDPA !
Excerpt from: http://saintlouisparish.org/about/patron-saint/

"Louis IX was born on April 25, 1219. At the young age of twelve, he was crowned King of France. Trained and guided by his devout mother, Blanche, he governed by holiness and justice.

Amid the splendor of his office, his humility was profound, and his charity for God and neighbor was deep. He founded hospitals, visited the sick, and built libraries, orphanages, cathedrals, and churches, many of which are still standing. He would invite as many as nine poor people into the palace for the evening meal each day.

Inspired to retake the Holy Land from hands and spread the true Faith, Louis undertook the Crusades. His first expedition ended in defeat and capture. Released, he tried again but died of fever in Africa. Louis IX, King and Crusader, was canonized by Pope Boniface VIII on August 11, 1297. His feast day is August 25. The statue of our patron saint was carved in Italy. It is a gift from the women of St. Louis Church." 

Libbie's Side note: (Canonized means to be such a wonderful person to be considered a Saint by the Catholic church many years after the person has passed away) 

(Saint Louis, Louis IX)

Learning to be humble

For these past two weeks, I have prayed almost every day for the Lord to help me be humble and become humbled.

I prayed for it everyday, and I didn't really know what to expect. I had done this once before, and a friend warned me that it's pretty risky to do that because when the Lord humbles you, he really humbles you.

I wasn't sure if I truly believed that. But, after that was said, I avoided asking to be humbled in my prayers.

But I don't know what caused it, but a few weeks ago, I got on my knees, and I decided that I needed to pray and ask to be humbled. I felt it was something that I needed to do. I told God that whatever challenge he gave me, that I would need his help to have the strength to endure it, and I closed the prayer and sighed, wondering what could become of it.

This week, I had a humbling experience. But I didn't even realize it until I was completely finished with it.

We have weekly cleaning checks, but this week, it was called "white glove check".. which just means that it's going to be more strict, and more difficult.

I cleaned my room as I do every week, and then I cleaned the toilet, which is my part for the week to clean. After we got checked, we were informed that we failed the cleaning test, but we could have a re-check. So we cleaned again. After the re-check, we failed again. Which meant that we would be charged $50 or we could do 5 hours of community service.

I was infuriated. I don't want to spend $50 on something such as a cleaning fine, nor do I want to spend 5 hours doing community service.

If you know me, you know that I love being right, and that I'm probably one of the most stubborn people you could meet.. besides maybe my Dad,  that's where I get it from. :)

And I love my stubbornness. I always have. It makes me feel full of power, and in all honestly, I am always right, and I always win. So this time, I wasn't going down without a fight.

I was so angry that I called the housing department explaining the situation and trying to put down the name of the woman who did the cleaning check. I then cleaned my room in a sarcastic-type of way. I emptied everything from sights view. I placed everything in my closet, and I took everything off my desk. I hid my blanket and pillow and my sheet and I took everything out of the bathroom and put them all hidden from sight in my dresser drawers and closet. This way, I was sure that there would be nothing that she could fail me on.

I then, proceeded to get allies. I invited my roommates into my anger. One roommate wrote a hate letter to the woman, while I wrote cruel notes all around that room that expressed sarcastic comments like "Clean enough yet?"

And then we had 24 hours to wait until her arrival.

Within those 24 hours, they were probably the most defining of that whole situation.

I proceeded to brag about my doings to my roommates as we laughed and spread angry words. I, then, invited other friends into my room so that they could see what I had done.

Other laughed along too, as I invited them to join my hateful game, which I was determined to win.

It wasn't until I invited two friends in, who took their stand, and told me how they felt, and how what I was doing was wrong.

I made them leave my room and then I was infuriated with them also. I now had three enemies instead of just one. And two of them, are two of my best friends here.

I went to bed and before I did, I knelt down again. This time I was a little fearful, my conscious was weighing on me, and I felt bad for pretending I was so righteous as I knelt down before the Lord. I didn't have much to say. I just told God that I loved him and I was thankful, and I quickly added for him to help me pass my cleaning check, and to be a better person.

I went to sleep. In the morning, I woke up. And it was a new day. And I looked at my spotless room, and then I looked around with all the notes that defiled it's cleanliness and purity. And I looked at myself. I saw my beautiful self in the mirror, and then I saw the hate and anger that defiled my cleanliness and purity.

I was so ashamed.
I took down the notes. I talked with my roommates. They felt the same way. We took down the hate letter. And we all kind of just talked about how, it wasn't the right thing to do.

I made amends with my friends and apologized to them.

And then I went to the temple this morning, and I thought about what had happened.

I chose to have so much hate, for a woman who was only doing her job. The job that she cared about, the job that helps support her family. The job that she is responsible for, and the rooms she is responsible for. And she was just trying to teach me to be responsible, and clean better than I had before.

I was humbled. I am sorry. And what I did was wrong.

The Lord will humble you each and every day, if you ask, and it is the best feeling after he does. Now I can look at myself in the mirror, and see that I am pure, and that I am lovely, that I am cleaner than I have been before, because I have learned to love and serve, even when I felt I was the person who was more right.


In Jesus Name,
Amen

T'is the Season

Tis the season,

for love and cheer,

It's coming soon,

Christmas in near.

Celebration of Christ,

of his dear birth, 

It's a celebration,

that doesn't even comprehend his worth.

Yet still, it's lovely,

it's completely divine,

it's a day full of love,

with families in time.

Christ was born,

in Bethlehem,

A glorious being,

in a stable, small and broken.

But the spirit of this baby boy,

is much stronger than the rest,

he is the loving savior,

he's gone through the worst and best.

He did it because he loves us,

he loved us then and now,

he deserves our full selves,

for us to kneel and bow.

To consecrate ourselves to God,

the one who sent his son,

which means that we align our will to his,

so that our purpose can be one.

The purpose to be happy,

to love one another every day,

to expand our family,

in each and every way.

God loves me, yes I know this,

I know it is so true,

he loves me, loves me, yes he does,

Jesus loves me too.

So celebrate the birthday, of Jesus Christ, the Lamb,

the one who takes away our sins,

the one who looks at us within.

Celebrate with respect,

with honor and with care,

spend time with your family,

and let your love be shared.

--Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas in Hawaiian)

(Jesus Christ statue in the Temple Visitor's Center, La'ie Hawaii)