For Hard Times

This is about Enos.  A guy in the scriptures who was like all of us. He had sins and mistakes and all manner of problems.

I feel a lot like Enos right now. One part of this scripture describes a wrestle that Enos has with God.
And I wonder, how the heck did a messed up dude like Enos, wrestle the all powerful and all perfect person like God. I mean, I don't know if it's a more a physical wrestle or spiritual, or maybe both, but yeah right would I want to ever wrestle against someone so grand as God.

But then I think of a father-son relationship, when the boy is young, the father roughs him up a bit, plays tough so that the boy can grow stronger. And then later on, when the boy is in high school, the dad is a lot tougher and really pushes his son so that he can become even stronger.

Sometimes, the father even makes it so the son fails, that he "loses" the wrestle, so the next time, he has more motivation and a better ability to not give up.

I feel like I've been in a wrestle with God, just like Enos. That I've been wrestling God for a long time. Especially in these past two years of a spiritual awakening and going on a mission, and going to rehab, struggling with sobriety, and being on and off medications that try to help me, struggling with relationships, friendships, places to live, and finding a support system.

I feel like all of this is a huge wrestle with God and that he's let me fail and lose the wrestle, just so I can learn how to get up and try harder next time.

I feel like right now, is "next time". I gotta try a bit harder this time and use the muscle I learned and gained from the last time. And keep trying even though I don't feel strong enough.

The best part is though, that God is never gonna give me too much that I'll lose indefinitely. He will always help me get back up, and be stronger and more ready to fight than the last time.

I need some prayers right now, as we all need help sometimes, I need some help right now too, to keep up the wrestle and to not give up.

I'm grateful for God and I know he is carrying me right now.

in Jesus Name,
Amen

Be an Angel Today

Today I would like to touch on the sacred privilege to be a visiting teacher and to be visit taught. One thing that I learned and continue learning as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is that we try our best to love and support each other. And, we are guided on how to accomplish this with a little thing called visiting teaching. For those of you unfamiliar with this concept or new to it, as I am. It is a responsibility that every adult women of the church gets to go share a scriptural message and be a friend to someone else in her ward (another word for congregation). The scriptural message can be real quick, and it is just to uplift them in their lives. I can't help but laugh and enjoy a quote we heard today while discussing visiting teaching. This girl stool up and exclaimed "visiting teaching is NOT visiting teaching!! That's not what it's about!!" And she is ABSOLUTELY right. No one wants an assigned friend to come set their timer for 10-15 minutes, share a message and peace out. They want someone who actually cares for their worries and needs. And who is going to be there for them in whatever they need. It reminds me of a story my mom told me. Growing up in the Catholic Church, I never had visiting teachers or home teachers(the guy versions of visiting teachers). But there was something called the Catholic Guild. And they would make visits to people when they felt they needed it. My mom being a mother of 3 crazy children at the time, and me being the third and just newly born, caused a lot of stress as for any mother would cause. The house was a mess, my dad was at work, she was trying to make food and please my older high maintenance sisters, and during a slight second when my mom wasn't watching, my older sister decides to go visit me, in my crib and, due to jealousy of attention of my adorable smile and charm at the young age of 3 weeks, my sister decides to repeatedly slap me in the face. My mom hears my yelling and crying and frantically comes to my rescue. She puts my sister in a time out, picks me up as I'm still screaming, and *knock knock * there is someone at the door. My mom in between all the screaming and crying and distress, opens the door to find two lovely ladies from the church with cookies or something just stopping by to see how she is doing. As soon as they ask how she is doing, my mom breaks down. But this is the part I love the best. Instead of these ladies dropping off the cookies and wishing my mom well and feeling they did their good deed for the day, They instead, sit down with my mom, hug her, comfort her, calm her, calm me, calm the other two sisters, and let my mom know that she is an amazing mother and that things are going to be okay. Whenever I think of visiting teacher, I think of this. Because God loves us so much, he watches out for us through other people. He sends us earthly Angels. And I know that my mom needed love that day. And that she needed someone to tell her that she is the best mom out there. She needed those ladies to come by and say "It's gonna be okay. We've had children too. You are strong, you can do it". She needed that so much, and because God loves her, and all of us so much, he sent two people to be with her that day. If it weren't for that, I don't know if I would be here today, writing this post about the sacred privilege of visiting teaching, of being able to be an angel for someone who just needs a hug, or an encouraging word, or a pat on the back. We can be Angels. Just as much as God sends us earthy Angels, we can be that too. And that's what visiting teaching is about, that's what being a neighbor is about, that's what being a friend is about. Mourning with those who mourn, comforting those in need of comfort, and supporting those who need a little help, and believe me, we ALL need that. This is our chance to do what Jesus did, to represent him, and to show others the love that God truly has for them. Have you made a difference in the world today? Will you visit someone in need? Will you show them God's love? In Jesus name, Amen

Tasting the Joy

Today marks the second year of the day that I got baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints!

I was reading this morning in Alma 36, my second favorite chapter in the Book of Mormon! 

And I felt like Alma, I had made a lot of mistakes in my life. And so did Alma, he describes it as this Alma 36: 12 "But I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins."

I too felt that same way. I felt like I truly had lead away so many souls into the depths of hell. I was a leader and, the choices I chose, lead people away from God rather than towards God and good things in their life. 

Just like everyone, I have my past, I have my big closet of skeletons and mistakes I've made that I can't take back. But, just like everyone, we are all given the chance to change and be better each and every day through Jesus Christ, and that's exactly what Alma did. He became better. 

He cried unto the Lord and asked him for his help and asked to be forgiven, he cried unto the Lord with all his might and said, I'm sorry, please help me, please forgive me! 

That's exactly how I felt: down to that very scripture in Alma when it says that he cried within his heart. I cried within my heart, I knelt down and I asked the Lord to help me, to forgive me, and to show me that he truly did love me and he truly was there. 

It was at that moment that I felt it. I felt his love surround me, I felt this overwhelming happiness that could never be felt from anything else except it be through the great Love of our Lord and God, Even Jesus Christ himself.  I didn't physically feel him, but the Holy Spirit testified to me that these things were true, the missionaries who taught me truly were representatives of Jesus Christ and that this church is His Church, and that he wanted me with all his heart to repent and be baptized and become a part of His church.

I quote Alma when I say "And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more." (Alma 36:19)

And after that moment, I changed my life around. It wasn't just instant and it sure wasn't easy. I had caused a lot of pain to all those around me; and I'm still working on making up for it. But the joy that I felt can never overpass any pain or sorrow that I had gone through. Alma states: "And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!" (Alma 36: 20) This was my joy. My joy was greater than any amount of pain. 

And I quote Alma in my words and state: 

"Yea, and from that time even until now, I have labored without ceasing, that I might bring souls unto repentance; that I might bring them to taste of the exceeding joy of which I did taste; that they might also be born of God, and be filled with the Holy Ghost." (Alma 36:24)

I'm serving a mission. I'm doing all that I can so that those around me can also feel the joy that I feel and that their pains can be turned into joy. 

"And I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions; yea, God has delivered me from prison, and from bonds, and from death; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me." (Alma 36:27) 

The Lord has delivered me from all kinds of bondage and difficulties and trials and spiritual death, and has allowed me to put my trust in him and has delivered me ever since.

That's why I am a member of this church, that's why I know that God loves me. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and there is nothing more in this life that will bring any more joy than having the sacred opportunity to repent and be baptized and join with the fold of God and be a part of the Sheep's pasture to now go and declare the word to help others who have lost their way. 

I love this church, I love Jesus Christ. Those two go together because this is Christ's church, every single part of it!

I'm grateful that I have 2 full years a member of this church, I'm grateful I can now serve as a missionary and represent Christ and His church. I'm grateful for a God who loves me. I'm grateful I'm a daughter of my Heavenly Father. 

I write these things in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen. 

(Surrounded by people I love and who love me. Sister Thompson (my companion) and I, August 12, 2015) 

Christ's Grace is Sufficient

The effect of an "R" rated movie is much more than just the things which we see. Everything was made spiritually and temporally after the creation of the Lord. As the Lord desires for our welfare and for us to prosper in the land, there is an opposite and equal reaction from our common enemy, Lucifer. Just as the Lord desires so strongly for our success, so does Satan desire the contrary, for us to falter and to be kept in bondage. 

It is interesting then, to think of the little sins and the eternal effect they may have on us. 

Everything now and hereafter has an intelligence, therefore for us to say "just this once" and allow an intelligence to enter our body is like opening our house to a small cockroach, and saying "just this once, will make little to no difference". 

The thing that we don't realize is that our minds, hearts, and spirits aren't like open houses where things come and go as they please. Our whole soul and body are things that we have to actively choose. Therefore, when a cockroach comes inside, we have to go to measures to get it out. 

That's where obedience and the atonement of Christ comes in. People often misunderstand the idea of obedience in the kingdom of God, and think it's unnecessary with the grace of God and Jesus Christ, but what they don't realize, is that without personal choices and obedience to the Lord's commandments, is like opening all the windows and all the doors to our house and then expecting when the cleaning inspector comes to check, that there will be no bugs, no webs, and will be perfectly clean. 

Obedience is first and foremost, shutting all the windows and doors of our house, and then taking time to clean the inside, and get out all dirtiness and bugs outside. 

And once you get to the cleaning part of the house, is the refining part in the atonement, the part where Christ's grace comes in, and is able to cover for all the imperfections inside of us, as we look towards him, and continue to do our job inside, then Christ's grace is sufficient to all men. 

Let yourself glow

The days go by,

One by one,

Exact same day it feels,

With little fun.

You look out the window,

See birds flying by

You wonder how-

They got so high 

Your mind wanders off,

And thinks how nice it would be

To be a bird, 

To be so free

To cheerfully fly from place to place 

With soft wings and a cute little face.

But you're not a bird,

YOU CAN'T FLY

All it seems you can do 

Is to push on and try.

But trying isn't enough,

When those thoughts come,

You realize you aren't as tough

As you though you'd become.

I thought I was strong,

Able to take on the world,

But then my emotions came

Unleashed and unfurled.

But Jesus stops me:

Says "Hey, it's okay

I know that this is just 

One of your hardest days,

I know it because 

I've felt it too,

The hurt: the pain: 

the feelings you go through.

I see you each night as you kneel down with me,

I hear your words, your crying plea.

Your plea for help,

For me to take this from you,

You just keep begging 

To become someone anew.

And I'm here for you, I promise,

But it's your cross you have to bear,

Don't get me wrong now, it doesn't 

Mean that I don't care.

I'm your brother, your savior, redeemer, 

I love you,

I'm here by your side through good times 

And all the bad too.

I can't take this from you,

No,, not quite yet,

Because I'm helping you become 

That young missionary,

So stable and set. 

I see beyond this struggle,

These dark days of the past,

I see a faithful missionary,

A missionary who lasts.

Lasting through every trial,

With a smile on your face,

Never running too fast,

But determined- to finish the race.

A missionary of hope,

Of love, .. Not fear

A missionary who recognizes 

That I am so near.

That I hear your cries,

I hear your pleas,

I'm right next beside you

When you crying on your knees. 

You are the missionary

 that anyone wants to be,

The one who is stronger

Than rough storms or seas.

So don't give up,

Don't end it quite yet,

Your about to be the strongest person 

This world has ever met.

Good night grand missionary,

Lay down get your rest,

Wake up with a smile 

To endure your next test. 

And remember I love you

More than you'll ever know

Now go let your light shine,

Go let yourself glow!"

Easter

It was Easter Yesterday! 1st, we need to remember that Easter is not about bunnies and candy! It's about Jesus Christ! He is no longer in the tomb, he is alive! He lives!!! :) It's amazing. So for your Easter Homework, click on this link helives.mormon.org It's about a 2 minute video! And it's about Jesus Christ! Ye shall watch it! :() We share this video with everyone we meet! And it's amazing! Everyone of all different cultures and backgrounds and religions all love this video and it brings them to tears and it brings them motivation and purpose and happiness to their life! My favorite part is when it says "There are no lost causes" And Emilie Ann Poirier!!! my darling sister, If you are reading this, WATCH IT. It reminded me of your love for people and for serving others, and how you ALWAYS try and REACH OUT. :) This was made for everyone to watch! It's beautiful and wonderful, so don't take my word for it, learn of it yourselves! We also had general conference. General Conference is when the Prophet of our church and his 12 apostles speak to the world twice a year! When Jesus was on the Earth he called 12 apostles! And so this church is established as the church in Jesus's time, with twelve apostles! Who speak to us and help to guide us along this challenging journey. One challenge I went through this week was being away from my Family during Easter! Easter is my favorite holiday. We have this Easter tradition to dress up and I always wear purple, my favorite color and the color of Easter. Then! We would Go to the Catholic church ( always crowded with tons of people, that we call the C and E people (Christmas and Easter people) so we would sit in the back, and try and be quiet, but in all honestly, I'm a non-stop talker, so it was always hard not to talk. When the songs would come, I would sing my heart out. Then after church, we would go home and have brunch with all of our family. So missing this Easter was super super super hard for me. One time i remember walking in church and immediately a man got up so that I could have a spot to sit by all my family. He was dressed in really rudgedy clothes, and didn't look super clean, but he was at church, and that was pretty cool. I remember the whole time feeling like I should invite this man to our Easter Brunch. But analyzing it over and over again in my head, I just couldn't get the courage to ask him, because I didn't want to make my family uncomfortable. As soon as church ended, I think I was like 9 or 10 years old, so my 10 year old self, immediately told my parents about my ideas. We were in the car by that time, and my parents said, OF COURSE HE IS WELCOME, so we drove around for 15 minutes searching for where he could have gone. We couldn't find him. And I vividly remember how sad I was. So sad that perhaps I should have asked him to come and I didn't, and how maybe he was hungry and was going to have a bad Easter. I think about that experience all the time, and it's probably one of the saddest things to think about. But my parents spoke with me and assured me that if we didn't find him on the street that he MUST be with someone else and that he would have food with them, and he probably has his own family, and we don't want to take him away from that. That experience is so clear in my mind, his face so clear, I someday want to meet him, and make sure he is okay. I wrote a poem about him too. The poem is at home, in one of my many piles and boxes of poems. I don't have it with me, or else I would write it in this email. Easter has always been a special day to me and my family, and it's been hard to not be with my family during that day. I told my companion of our traditions. How we would hide our baskets from the Easter bunny, and he would rehide them with candy in it. I cried during my prayer during that night before Easter, because I didn't have a basket to hide, the Bunny wouldn't rehide it, and I wouldn't be frantically searching in the morning to try and beat my sister's to it. And I wouldn't be going to church with my family, and have our brunch afterward. So I just cried. I was laying in bed and crying, and another Sister missionary in the room asked if I was okay. I said yes. 10 minutes passed and I asked her for a hug, I felt I needed one. Sister Salcido is her name, she gave me the best hug, a hug that I really really needed, and her hug alone assured me that everything would be okay. Then we turned the conversation into jokes about the 6 foot tall Easter bunny and if we should leave our doors unlocked so he could come in. It was really funny, so I went to sleep on a happy note. In the morning, our alarms sounded. And I heard my companion Sister Sullivan shout "THE EASTER BUNNY CAME, HAPPY EASTER!!!" And all over our floor was grass and candy and "becausehe lives" cards about Jesus Christ, and a bunny. And one single basket. And the basket was for me. I'll send pictures of what it was like. I wasn't with my family, but I was with another family, a family of sisters, and Sister Salcido told me "that's why we're here, to be your family" So that Easter day, was a very good day. A day of happiness, a day of family, a hard, but good day, a day of love. I hope all of you enjoyed your Easter just as much as I enjoyed mine. And I hope all of you remember why we celebrate Easter, because of Him, because of Jesus Christ, we can return to live with Heavenly father, and our families can be,, TOGETHER FOREVER:) In Jesus Name, Amen!

I Love ARIZONA!

So this week went by super well:) We went bowling on Monday! We might go to a baseball game today! GO GIANTS:) This is my district bowling they are so cool. Then this is me eating fruit from a Mexican Shack. Funny story, I was trying to show off the pretty fruit, and ended up spilling it all over my dress and the floor. #LibbieProblems#SisterPoirierProblems#missionaryProblems so if you're having a bad week. Just think of me spilling all the creme over my dress and all my companion saying "this is why white girls don't go into Mexican stores". Yeah. That girl next to me is Dulce, all her family are members of the church but she isn't. She wants to raise her family in the Church of Jesus Christ, but she doesn't quite want to be baptized yet! We explain that baptism is just the first step. And Jesus Christ! He too got baptized! We pray for her every night! She is super sweet! We saw the Jesus the Christ pagent in mesa! It was so great! Jesus Christ rose from the dead! It's a free pagent put on by the church that talks about Jesus's life and his death and his ressurection! We went once in english with our english investigators! And once in spanish! The spanish one was so cool! And we had 9 investigators come! Investigators just mean people that are investigating the church! It was so great to have them come because it helped them see how much Christ plays a part in our church. He is literally the center of our church! 2 Nephi 25:26 "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins" It's all about Christ! And Christ makes me so happy! We are focusing on families these next three weeks! Because families are the most important! I also realized that my address wasn't sent out to half of you because of email problems! So here it is: Sister Libbie Rose Poirier Arizona Tempe Mission 1871 E Del Rio Dr. Tempe, Arizona 85282 Feel free to write, but don't feel obligated:) If you write me, I write back. I'm probably better at responding to letters than emails:) Just so you know! Spanish is going good! I'm going work really hard this week to study it better. Studying is the hardest part for me! But that's okay because I'm going to try anyways and ask for God's help. In preparation for Easter! I encourage all of you to read the accounts in Matthew Mark, Luke or John, about Christ's resurrection and how beautiful and marvelous and wonderful Christ truly is! If ye feel so inspired tell me how it went and what you learned. I send all my love, -Hermana Libbie Poirier